I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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