Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
