and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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