Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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