How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
