Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
