Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
