I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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