Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
