I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
