The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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