I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
