Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Two words: nipple clamps
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