I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
