Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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