i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize