I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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