whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
