You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
third nipple confirmed
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
