I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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