Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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