i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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