i just had sex bonerless
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
