I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
