You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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