i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Four minutes until I can fart!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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