why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
