that's an acceptable place to lick
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
