I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In other news, I just burned my penis
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize