I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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