His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
