Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
