He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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