I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
