well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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