Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My first STD was from a foam party
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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