He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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