So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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