I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
NoShamevember. You game?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
