My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
3pm strippers are depressing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
