He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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