that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
