where am i from again
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
