Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
