He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
