My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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