Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
