Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
