i permit you to call me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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