Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
