Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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