woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
