the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
