I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize