thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
