And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
